The Twat is back and on Gloria Jeans takeout overload...

I (finally!) now have my internet access back to crap-"normal". Not exactly hi-speed, but it's good enough for me. I'm no corporate exec who needs everything in my universe at lightning-speed, if not quicker. I'm a lowlife who just complains for cheap (since I'm too poor to get an upgrade or anything better) DSL and its crappy service. Boohoo. :-P

Besides, having crawling-speed internet does have its good points. While waiting for your page to load, you can use the waiting time for say, resting your eyes...to prevent blindness. You can have short breathing exercises...to improve oxygen intake. You can maybe go pee, drink a glass of water, or eat. Or whatever it is that we people who spend too much time on the internet than in the real world. Yep, that's a "we" right there.

A toast to all of us who can't afford hi-speed internet...but at least we're full, somewhat-healthy, okay-vision, and don't have UTI.

So earlier, I got a visit from two other very-unsatisfied Globelines account holders. :D BB and CC wanted to "hang" and pester me with all their internet woes. *Yakyakyakkityyak* Like I didn't have enough Globelines-issues to talk about. I even threw their free landline phone out the garage out of utter frustration. If that's not showing my love, I don't know what is. Besides, the phone was free (it comes with the line, I guess)...and crappy. If it were Bang & Olufsen, I would've hesitated (but would probably still do it).

I, on the other hand, just wanted to stuff my face with anything...err, edible. I thought I still had one of those edible soaps lying around somewhere. But apparently, I'm too much of a pig to save even that.

We carpooled (hello skyhigh gas prices, I can only wish you'd die) to Banilad Town Centre to have lunch, but parking was a bitch. It took us less than ten minutes to get to BTC, and more than half an hour to find a parking slot. At 12 noon, BTC is like this mid-sized college Quad. Half of which, are obnoxious UC-Banilad nursing students (not all of you, just...most) *teehee* running around BTC like they own the place. The other half of the BTC mid-day population are the oh-so-serious-but-rich-as-hell Class AAA (like the batteries?) mums out and about while the hubbies are working and the kids aren't wrecking their prized Lladros...just yet.

So, instead of testing how far our patience could go what with all these people screaming (seriously) all over, we just had our food to-go. We're big on take-out food. Nothing beats chomping goooood food inside the car squatting on your seat without worrying about etiquette. *chompchompchomp*

Partially-eaten Roastbeef Sandwich
I always seem to forget to take photos before raping my food.

Open Sesame!

Spaghetti Carbonara

And no, I did not touch this one before photographing. It just looks like that --already chewed up and barfed out, but it's actually pretty...okay. A little too "bland" (yo chef, what's with the bacon?!) for my taste, but "ok" nevertheless.

LOW-FAT Chocolate Cake!

I already had a sandwich and a mid-sized order of pasta...I had enough sense to "make it up" to my non-existent diet to save what's left of my nearly-Miss Piggy face. The cake is boring, but moist enough. You could see the remains of air bubbles all over...maybe because of the lack of butterfat (?), but surprisingly good.

Bah. Who cares about good old goooeey yummy fudge anyway?
I do. *sniffle*
Chocolate Macadamia Nut

This is actually CC's all-time favourite drink. And I now know why. It's so goooood, I want to hate it. It's one of those things that locks your brain from counting the calories after one fucking sip...and whine about the bloating later.

Molten Whipped Cream
This was taken less than TWO minutes after getting into the car. It's that hot out here in Cebu.
another minute later...
Frothe

BB's Double-Decker Sandwich


How to massacre a sandwich:

Gotta love how men deal with fancy-schmancy sandwiches...

A twat's version of "Fusion Cuisine"

By some miracle, I have internet access. :-/ Some stuck-up customer service represantative told me they won't be able to fix it until Wednesday...which only makes me wonder if they're really having "technical difficulties" or they're just too hungover until Wednesday. Ahh..Filipino service at its finest.

...or they could probably just be testing my patience.

Things that make you go, "hmmmmmm..."

Bah. No worries, at least we all got to unwind and break free from blogging. I still haven't been bit by the blogging bug though. I'm neither enslaved...or enthusiastic still about blogging. But I have discovered its "therapeutic powers". I don't know if that's just a lot of bull, or if it's actually true...(probably the former), but hey, I'm still doing it. So it must be worth at least something.

...and I still don't know whether I should be happy about that or not. Puta...all these "whether"s are making my head hurt. My I.Q. is just too low for this...*stupid twat*

My best consolation is that I get to have acceptable-excuse for taking dumbass photos with my cameraphone of anything and everything random --some interesting, and the rest are just stupid. But you'll still read them. :D

So there...

BB and I planned on having lunch earlier at Ginza. For some reason, it's been our favourite Japanese restaurant in Cebu over the years. Although, we frequent Saisaki at SM more because of their less-than-$10-eat-all-you-can, and we're broke half of the time. :D But when the wallet permits it, we turn on our snob-button, and it's Ginza-swipe-abuse-all-the-way! Ha. Seriously though, Ginza's not that expensive. Well, it's no Nobu, if that's what you're thinking. But the food is good, that's all I know. When your stomach's already churning bile and you're seconds-close to fainting, believe me, you won't give a fuck about interior and ambience either!

Unfortunately, when we got there, the place was unusually packed. Probably some Hawaiian-shirt-conference, I don't know. I could only wish I had enough sense to take photos, because it was a such a colorful sight. Probably even more so than your local exotic-bird sanctuary. I have yet to work on my paparazzi skills. Soon, soon...

So we stayed at the parking lot, called to order, and waited for our Jap-to-go inside the car...for just a little over 15 minutes. Hey, that's pretty fast for cuisine-takeout. McDonald's Drive-thru here even make me wait for almost half an hour for ONE fucking Big Mac.

I just had two orders of ebi tempura and some deep-fried tofu. That's it. Three orders of deep-fried goodness and saturated fat. Mmm...

I forgot to take photos of the tofu though...but what difference does it make anyway? You all know what tofu looks like! :P

Ebi Tempura
Some fish entree thing that's really good, and some bean sprouts.
gotta love all that foil...klassy.
Beat that, Nobu! Haha!

A twat's version of FUSION CUIZZIINNEEE...

I forgot to order their famous Ginza-rice, what with my brilliant mindset and all, so I dropped by Chowking (a local Chinese-fastfood chain) instead and ordered Yang Chow rice to go with all that glorious Japanese foooood.
Not exactly Ginzalicious *sob*, but an okay alternative nevertheless...

What, I only had enough money left for commercial Chinese after ordering all that overpriced tofu!

A twat's Saturday night = expensive doodie

It's before midnight and I'm already home...on a Saturday night. And it's not to get dressed for some party, or a club...or any kind of activity to showcase that I have a life. I came home because I actually thought it was already 2 o'clock in the morning and it was time to end the night.

And now, I'm blogging.

Great. Pfft...didn't I just convince myself that my life is pretty good compared to the millions of dying children in oh, I don't know...Lahug? Then why am I being such a bitch about this??

So, in celebration of living in the third world, and be surrounded by severe depression everywhere (seriously, everywhere --parking lots and the "yamada kids", it's not even funny), CP and I decided to have dinner at The Tinder Box. We were broke as hell. Why we even thought of dining at such an overpriced restaurant...and why I was the one who suggested the place, is beyond me. Why am I home right now blogging instead of washing dishes? Because we have our mothers' supplementary gold cards. And yes, we are bad, bad children, we should both be ashamed of ourselves...go get your own life.

Besides, I don't spend much on anything else anyway. And eating out has been my biggest expense lately next to gourmet (by that I mean not of the instant variety that I want to get used to. Starbucks is considered "gourmet" for third-world standards) coffee and cigarettes, so it's all good.

We both had the lamb, as always. I think the kitchen people have already branded us as the "Lamb Twins" since that's all we've ever ordered for years. And we still like it every single time. Because they make it just as good as the last time. Oh come on, it's not like the usual adobo that you feel like puking out after the third serving in a week. It's prime meat babe, can't argue with that.

As you might have noticed (might??) in the photo, I've already started chomping on my dish before photographing, because I am a pig with poor table manners, and not much patience especially when you've waited for sooo long for your food to be served, so excuse me. I was sooo hungry, I'm still surprised I didn't gnaw on the plate!

Ooo...does this mean I actually have manners? Ahh...there is hope. ;)

We ate at their main dining area because we were dressed like hobos. Good luck wearing those Cavalli shorts and Prada slip-ons, they won't care. You're not getting in the private room. :P Besides, it was just the two of us having dinner on a Friday night, why would we bother getting into their oohlala room anyway? We're no high-profiler having a luxe dinner with the mistress. We don't need privacy. :D For the fucking bill we paid, we should've hooked up a megaphone on the roof of the car and screamed, "We just ate at Tinder Box!!!", for crying out loud.

Lesson learned for tonight: Eating/staying/lounging/etc. at any place that charges major $$$ (again, third-world) without your sponsors --i.e. parents, is not an entirely pleasant experience.

It is...until the bill comes, anyway.

No wonder all these annoying yappers at Bo's or Starbucks keep on dropping "high-class" establishment names an average of 6 times/minute. It is apparently a big deal. And I had to go through the (yes, painful) experience of having to actually look at the eye-popping bill just to be able to get it. I am telling you, it is harsh paying...with your own money! :)

Oh well...in the end, it really doesn't matter how much you pay (but only if you can really afford it). It's all about the dining experience (which is always great). You enjoy a good meal, and in turn, have some real expensive poop. Isn't life just beeeautifuulll? ;)